This could get interesting

[bonnie_rocks]

As seen elsewhere on the intertubes:

Anonymous comments are enabled for the next 72 hours indefinitely, and IPs are not being logged. Share something about you sexually: wants, experiences, preferences, fears. Anything goes, and yes, this applies even if you don't have a sex life right now. Confession is good for the soul.

The three disclaimers:

1) You may safely assume that the comments to this post contain text of an NC-17 nature. Treat accordingly.

2) The management reserves the right to cease operation of the confessional at any time. Drama and abusive language will not be tolerated.

3) Feel free to link to this post from your own journal. The more, the merrier.

I want to make it clear to anyone thinking of commenting, but are afraid that others will pass judgement: This is a kink-friendly and judgment-free space. The nature of this sort of confessional is that sometimes people will be confessing things that are difficult for them to talk about. As long as it's all consensual, it's all okay here.

Ok...GO!

~*::Meow::*~

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm with the person of my dreams and yet there are many missed opportunities that I want to have atleast 1 rendezvous with but I will never be able to act on them because the person I will be spending the rest of my life with would never go for it.

It feels good to get that off my chest. Thank you for this post.

[(Anonymous)]

I was raped a few years ago and have never forgiven myself for letting it happen. I feel so ashamed. Ever since then, any time I get into a relationship and it gets to the point where sex is involved, I freak out and distance myself from my partner so much, the relationship ends and I'm once again left to dwell on why.

I'm destined to be alone.

[(Anonymous)]

I got raped too. I thought it would get easier, but so far it hasn't. I still get nightmares about it, but the really scary odd thing is then I wake up horny. :/

[(Anonymous)]

I have a huge crush on my best friend. I'm afraid if I act on it or tell her, it'll ruin our friendship. :(

[(Anonymous)]

Even the best Friendships will fade with enough time. Poeple go off, make new friends, find someone to marry and go off and do their own thing. Chances are very high that in 10 years you will barely talk to this person much (not 100% because anything is possible). the old saying "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" rings true here, because sharing your feelings with the special person and being shot down or not having it work out beats the hell out of a lifetime of regret and the dreaded thought "what could have been?"

so before you get the response "We are such good friends so it would be wierd" I say go for it, from one who followed the low road, and has to face it everyday...

[(Anonymous)]

people make assumptions based on past crushes, which is fine because it means outside my partner almost no one knows whose friendship I am not willing to risk, even with my SO's permission.

[(Anonymous)]

This reminds me of Piers Anthony's "Under a Velvet Cloak", the book about the Incarnation of Night, whose job was to gather secrets, almost exclusively sexual.

And, I'd like to have sex with you. It was so silly of me to refuse over some mundane reason I don't even remember now, when you offered 7 years ago.

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

I'm going to have to check out that book. It sounds like something I would read. :) Thank you.

~*::Meow::*~

[(Anonymous)]

Because of a previous partner, 95% of the time my new partner and I fool around, I can't get an orgasm. It doesn't matter if he uses his fingers, tongue, or cock. I get really really close, and then I just hit a wall. It's both frustrating and infuriating. The times I actually do have an orgasm, it really is a momentus event, and we cherish those times. But no matter hw hard we try to recreate the conditions under which I do have an orgasm, it's doomed to fail.

[(Anonymous)]

You're not alone...I have never had a *real* orgasm

[(Anonymous)]

I had bareback sex with a lot of random guys for ten years. I found out later that four of them were HIV+. One of them died. I am negative. I still don't know how I am alive today. It's hard for me to have sex with anyone because I am totally the opposite. I don't want to do anything but masturbate and kiss. I am freaked out about bodily fluids because I dodged so many bullets. I think that is why I don't make it past date #2 before the other person never returns my calls. It's been this way for years. Oh well. At least I'm alive.

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

::Huggles:: Wow. You are very VERY lucky in that regard. I'm glad you are alive.

~*::Meow::*~

[(Anonymous)]

Every sexual relationship I've ever been in has been plain vanilla. I want to try kinky things. The closest thing to kink that I have participated in was being cuffed to the bed. I always hear about other friends adventures in the kinky world, and I want that too! One day I would love to know what it's like to be in subspace. I get really turned on when I read about it. Any ideas?

[(Anonymous)]

Seek out your local BDSM group and go to some events.

Get an account on Fetlife and meet people on-line... this could also be a good way to find and seek out your local BDSM group.

Come to frolicon (www.frolicon.net)

[(Anonymous)]

several of my friends have been raped - either physically forced or manipulated and pressured a significant amount by the same asshole. I don't even think they all know they have that in common. He's also used lesser degrees of manipulation in many cases. I have planned out how i would murder him in vivid,bloody, detail. The thing is it is only because I can't get away with it without having help that I have not done it, I don't want anyone else risking jail.

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

Have you encouraged your friends to report this douchebag? Sounds like a real winner to me. Getting raped is no joke. :(

I wouldn't want you to go to jail either, so it's a good thing you haven't acted upon your plans.

~*::Meow::*~

[(Anonymous)]

I'm insatiably horny. My current record is 25 orgasms in one day.

[(Anonymous)]

PS: I'm male.

[(Anonymous)]

It took a friendly to a friend going a bit more then i expected (not too far) and discussing the situation with my SO later to realize I've had several of my female friends seriously flirt and that the accidental teasings were not accidental. Yes I would have loved to have the chance to be intimate with a few of them, but it bothers me more that they could never tell me. One of these was the one person I love that I would not have to hold back with, but could show the dark, violent, passionate and dominant side I always hold back from people, and not be worried it would scare her, and not had a cause for guilt of anything that happened.

[(Anonymous)]

friendly massage.

[(Anonymous)]

I was molested as a child by my sibling. When I finally felt comfortable talking to my SO about it, they called it bullshit. I asked SO to help me work through some of the suppressed memories, and asked SO to go through another trusted friend who was also a good friend of this sibling and confirm something for me. It was confirmed. Later when SO and I were fighting at the end of our relationship, SO threw it in my face telling me sibling hadn't confirmed, but had denied. So some things about dealing with this are as of yet unresolved. It's been 16 years since it's happened. I don't blame sibling, in fact, sibling and I have always been pretty close. From what I do remember, after parents found out and told sibling to stop, that it was bad, sibling ceased and never even tried again. I believe it to have been an unmalicious experimentation fostered by our parents complete lack of building our personal confidence, self esteem, and openess to sexuality. I still want to know if sibling remembers, and if sibling does, that they're forgiven.

[(Anonymous)]

I finally got to live out one of my fantasies the other night. I have a huge grin on my face because of it.

I was at a party that was hosted by a good friend of mine. I recently came out of the closet as a lesbian, which in and of itself was really difficult. Fast forward to when the party was dying down. I decided to spend the night mainly because I had really hit it off with a couple of other people at the party who were also spending the night. The conversation we were having turned very sexual very quickly, and we started talking about our fantasies. I told them that I had always wanted to be blindfolded and tied up and for others to take advantage of me. Whenever I would have this fantasy play out in my head while getting off, it would bring on the most intense orgasms, so I was really excited when they agreed to do this for me.

I was admittedly nervous and anxious but the excitement outweighed everything else. We called it a night and found a bedroom to have fun in and eventually sleep.

I had never orgasmed so hard in my entire life, and I owe it all to them. Thank you ladies for everything and I hope we can get together again soon.

[(Anonymous)]

Yummy! I miss hooking up with people at parties....

[(Anonymous)]

Here's an odd story: when I was about eight, I'd get into wrestling fights with friends visiting me, in my room, and the winner, after pinning the loser down by wrists and ankles, would strip him and tease and tug and tweak and pull the loser's penis mercilessly for a while (we were all boys). It went on regularly for a few months, with parents just a couple doors away.

Much later on, that made me read up on development psychology, to find that that's the age for secret groups and rituals which can be sexual in nature especially if that nature isn't identified as such (to us it was just the ultimate way to show who's the winner)

Funny how I grew up straight, and don't even care for bondage or domination at all.

[(Anonymous)]

Growing up, I used to play the "Show me yours and I'll show you mine" game. I don't remember how long that went on for. Bus rides home were the best though! We all sat in the back and dangly bits were hanging out and we would just giggle and have a all around fun time.

[(Anonymous)]

I have not been in a relationship for two and a half years, I have had a fuck buddy this whole time. I know it is a long time. I am told that is not normal. I stopped feeling things for him the night he sent me a text saying "this is unhealthy we should just be done with it." Then next night he sent me "I am sorry baby, if you want to be my hottie you better prove it." That was 10 months in.

I go in and out of having feelings for him but I never let myself fall too deep into the idea of me and him. It wont work he told me he loved me after 11 months and I ran.

I go on dates, and I dont feel the same spark I feel with him. I cant fall in love with him it would not work. The sex is outta this world, I let him do things to me that I have never let anyone ever. I love our time together but is it because I know it wont work and it is fleeting?

Last night he text me saying "I really need you right now. And not just for sex. I need you." it almost broke my heart in two. Do I risk falling to get hurt, or just stay cold and be happy with what we have?

[(Anonymous)]

Risk falling. Love is always an option worth pursing. Even if you get hurt, you're often left with new parts of you that you never knew existed before. It's why we love - ultimately to discover ourselves through deeply exploring the world and the people around us. Go for it. Your conflict in and of itself says that deep down you feel the same as he does.

Go for it.

[(Anonymous)]

The person I turn to when I'm breaking down inadvertantly made me feel worthkess and our friendship is meaningless and easily replaceable.

He didn't mean it. He doesn't know it. But now I feel so alone in a time where I need my friends more than anything. I'm a train wreck in slow motion, begging for someone to just grab onto me and hold me. Apparently I'm not as transparent as I thought I was.

Or maybe people really just don't care.

[(Anonymous)]

*Hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

I enjoy it when others watch. It makes me feel sexy.

[(Anonymous)]

I like to watch.

[(Anonymous)]

I've had a few threeways but in all cases I was only strongly attracted to one of the guys, and somewhat turned off by the other. There is a hispanic couple I'm loosely friends with that I've always fantasized about having a threeway with. I tried flirting, and I know they've had threeways before, but I was too shy to out and out propose anything to them.

There's also a male-female couple I knew in college that I've flirted with and thought about playing around with, but again never made it passed some massaging at a party.

Bored with the kink

[(Anonymous)]

My SO and I hhave been sleeping together for 12 years, exclusively. We have for most of this time enjoyed B&D, spanking, various positions, porn, pretty much anything the other wants to try. The problem is that, honestly, I'm tired of having to put on a performance to have sex. Sometimes I just want a quickie. Sometimes I just want to read a good book. I'm 36, is that so wrong?

Re: Bored with the kink

[(Anonymous)]

not wrong at all. Have you tried talking to SO about it? I'm in a some-times kinky relationship and I like the sometimes part. BDSM fulfills we in a certain way, tender love making meets another need, and being bent over the bed and fucked hard is sometimes just what I need. IMHO, vanilla sexy can be kinky when all you really do is BDSM. If you don't think your SO will be totally open to it, try proposing it that way.

Insatiable

[(Anonymous)]

I never seem to be able to get enough sex. It's frustrating! Even when I'm having sex daily, or even more than once a day, it never seems to be enough. I rest up and wake up horny all over again. I actually envy people who are losing their sex drives. I'm ready to be controlled by something more than my libido.

Re: Insatiable

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't wish losing sex drive on anyone! I talk from experience in that department, unfortunately. I used to have sex ALL THE TIME and then one day, as if my sex drive was all a dream, I found I was rarely, if ever, in the mood for sex. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but this has been going on for about a year at this point.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't enjoy sex, but I have trouble saying "no" to people. And I know I can't expect people to read my mind or body language, but that doesn't stop it from feeling like rape every time.

[(Anonymous)]

I used to have this problem. It took a few years but I learned that it's better to be completely upfront with people from the getgo, let them know that you don't want sex. More often than not, the other person will be ok with this. People who are not ok with it are probably just jerks and not worth it anyway.

Sex

[(Anonymous)]

I have a very iffy relationship with sex. There are times where I figure I may enjoy it, but more often than not I find it abhorrent and disgusting. I'm a guy, but I have no desire for pornography, erotic thrillers, and the like. Watching other people doing the dirty deed makes me uncomfortable and sickly. As for actually doing it myself I can't say each time I've done it has been enjoyable for both me or the girl involved. There's always that deep-rooted fear that you're not doing it right, and if you're in the hands of a more skilled person, it's all the more augmented. I guess I'm destined to never have sex again. Oh well.

[(Anonymous)]

Yesterday, my SO and I were talking about previous sexual encounters, not just full-on sex, but fooling around in general. After starting to think about it, I feel as though I'm a slut especially compared to my SO. He has only been with 6 people... I couldn't actually give an exact or even estimate on how many people I've had sexual encounters with.

And now I feel really dirty :'(

[(Anonymous)]

Rape should not occur, that it does, can never be held to the fault of the person raped.

If a person is "Fondled" at a young age, if the person doing the "Fondling" is also young, then it may well only be normal curiosity occurring. If the person doing the "Fondling" is significantly older, and/or extends their "Fondling" beyond simple genital manipulation (for "Examination" purposes) to "Penetration" then it becomes "Molestation" and should definitely be discussed with trusted elders.

Kink is Kinky, because God/Yahweh/Allah says so (well, ok, maybe God/Yahweh/Allah didn't say so personally, but the Religious Elders Speaking for God/Yahweh/Allah have told us this is so). But when you think about how many nerve endings in our bodies lead to pleasure centers, if the "Designer" of said body is so Omniscient, wouldn't they have planned for the possible Miss-use of their designs?

I have chosen to not force myself on anyone, so when I realize that I'm behaving in a way that might not be desired (even if it appeared that it was acceptable previously), I'll stop & ask and I try not to start again, until asked to do so. So I've let women control my access to sex, but because of society & religious training, most of todays women don't feel comfortable asking for sex (at least, they don't ask me for sex)

*pulling my hair out*

[(Anonymous)]

AHHHHHH.... I hate the feeling you stay with someone for all the wrong reasons... dig yourself in so deeply that you can't climb your way out of... If only I had been stronger in my youth, things could be better...

Re: *pulling my hair out*

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

::Huggles:: I've been in relationships that when I finally got out of them, it was a huge relief because of the hole that was dug.

The best thing for you to do is just leave and don't turn back. I know it sounds easier than it will be, but staying in a relationship for all the wrong reasons isn't healthy at all. You deserve better than that.

~*::Meow::*~