This is what happens on my Twitter feed after I go to bed...

[bonnie_rocks]

Jeph Jacques is a crazy mofo, and I love it!

The following were ALL written by Jeph Jacques between the hours of approximately 2am & 4am. Enjoy!!

Marten traced a lazy circle with his index finger around where Gordon's nipple would be, were it not for the body armor.

Gordon dropped his crowbar and slowly, tentatively ran his hand up Marten's inner thigh.

Seventeen minutes later, awkwardly dressing themselves, Marten and Gordon agreed never to speak of this evening to another living soul.

SUDDENLY: HEADCRABS AND THEN, SUDDENLY: ROMANCE????????

"But I've never k-k-k-kissed an AI before," Hannelore stammered. "THERE WILL BE DELICIOUS CAKE AFTERWARDS," GLaDOS said.

Marigold could still taste his flesh, could still remember the horrible gobbling sucking noise he made as he died.

tearing strips of cheek and underlying muscle from his face as he screamed and blubbered and screamed

The trouble with eating someone else's face, Marigold reflected, was that so many of the stringy bits got caught between your teeth.

To say nothing of the shocked faces: the horrified Medic, the awed Engineer, the creepily fervid Sniper, as they witnessed your carnage

Tearing the final strip of cheekmeat from the gibbering skull, then driving her fist in, working her fingers into the eyesockets

Crushing, twisting, the orgasmic snap of optical nerves and the green-stick crunch of collapsing cartilage

Rend the flesh, rub it over your face, shriek your warcry and loose your gore-soaked bosoms to the night, you harpy, you sibyl, you Marigold

...wake up, realize it was a dream and you've got to pee, stumble into the bathroom hoping Angus doesn't see you without a bra on

Anal Rape #rappersthatmightbehomeless

The satisfying gurgle of another dying prostitute #thingsimiss

#noonelikesyoubecause you keep fuckin' all those dogs, man

you furiously thrusting the baton up my ass, tearing agony mixed with shocked pleasure as you bludgeon my prostate from within #thingsimiss

it is 3:12AM and I own twitter, for the moment.

"Yeah, I guess I'd fuck an otter," Machiavelli said to Stalin. "I mean, not, like my A-game fuckin', but I'd still tear her shit up."

Christopher Walken attempting to somberly explain why your mother is dead and why he was caught fucking her fatal stab wound #SpikeJonze

Rivers Cuomo cutting off a Japanese prostitute's head with a length of piano wire, looped forever #manlegs

paying for the Japanese prostitute that your new buddy Rivers Cuomo just beheaded in the back of the rented limo #hallmarkmoments

MC HAMMER BOAT REFINANCING 2009 VOL. 1: HOW TO REFINANCE YOUR BOAT (2 LEGIT 2 QUITT)

"I JUST WANTED TO LOVE MY SON!" Gendo sobbed into Marigold's arms. "It's not too late," she said. "Just get into this giant penguin mecha."

"See you...next time, cowboy..." Spike gasped. "See you tomorrow...in the ER...and you've got LUPUS," Marigold said #cowboybebopVhouse

Fart-chan looked Chiyo's dad right in the eye and said "there's no way I'll prolapse first." #goodnight #thankyou #tipyourwaitress #dongs

my wife just literally yelled at me to "stop being weird on the internet" so I guess I'm done

PS: imagine a cock writhing around in your mouth, just frantically straining for freedom and/or orgasm. Really think about this.

MarigoldxYolandi #zefside #dieantwoordcontent

No one else Tweeted anything during this time.

~*::Meow::*~

Comments

[rensong.livejournal.com]

Um. Wow. You have some interesting characters on your Twitter.

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

Jeph Jacques is the man!! Have you read Questionable Content???

~*::Meow::*~

[rensong.livejournal.com]

I don't believe I have. Judging from his twitters, I'm not sure I would want to risk it while I'm at work anyway. ;)

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

HAHA!! Actually, QC is not anything that crazy. The man is just insane. He was also very drunk (he had a sizeable amount of Bourbon last night).

~*::Meow::*~

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Link here! http://www.questioanblecontent.net

It often skirts NSFW, but not glaringly. But his dialogue goes...often intriguing places. (I've been a fan for a few years. Bonnie's been a fan since the beginning.)

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

Eep!! Link typo!! http://www.questionablecontent.net There, fixed it for you :)

And it's true! I have been a fan since the beginning. I don't remember how I stumbled upon it initially...

~*::Meow::*~

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

ARGH!!! I usually can spell worth a dam!

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

It's ok, hun. All is forgiven :)

~*::Meow::*~

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

Also OMG your icon!!!

~*::Meow::*~

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

A description I've yet to find a use for: "Folding back on itself like a 30,000-word-long palindrome."