bonnie_rocks: (Default)
[personal profile] bonnie_rocks
Jeph Jacques is a crazy mofo, and I love it!

The following were ALL written by Jeph Jacques between the hours of approximately 2am & 4am. Enjoy!!

  • Marten traced a lazy circle with his index finger around where Gordon's nipple would be, were it not for the body armor.
  • Gordon dropped his crowbar and slowly, tentatively ran his hand up Marten's inner thigh.
  • Seventeen minutes later, awkwardly dressing themselves, Marten and Gordon agreed never to speak of this evening to another living soul.
  • SUDDENLY: HEADCRABS AND THEN, SUDDENLY: ROMANCE????????
  • "But I've never k-k-k-kissed an AI before," Hannelore stammered. "THERE WILL BE DELICIOUS CAKE AFTERWARDS," GLaDOS said.
  • Marigold could still taste his flesh, could still remember the horrible gobbling sucking noise he made as he died.
  • tearing strips of cheek and underlying muscle from his face as he screamed and blubbered and screamed
  • The trouble with eating someone else's face, Marigold reflected, was that so many of the stringy bits got caught between your teeth.
  • To say nothing of the shocked faces: the horrified Medic, the awed Engineer, the creepily fervid Sniper, as they witnessed your carnage
  • Tearing the final strip of cheekmeat from the gibbering skull, then driving her fist in, working her fingers into the eyesockets
  • Crushing, twisting, the orgasmic snap of optical nerves and the green-stick crunch of collapsing cartilage
  • Rend the flesh, rub it over your face, shriek your warcry and loose your gore-soaked bosoms to the night, you harpy, you sibyl, you Marigold
  • ...wake up, realize it was a dream and you've got to pee, stumble into the bathroom hoping Angus doesn't see you without a bra on
  • Anal Rape #rappersthatmightbehomeless
  • The satisfying gurgle of another dying prostitute #thingsimiss
  • #noonelikesyoubecause you keep fuckin' all those dogs, man
  • you furiously thrusting the baton up my ass, tearing agony mixed with shocked pleasure as you bludgeon my prostate from within #thingsimiss
  • it is 3:12AM and I own twitter, for the moment.
  • "Yeah, I guess I'd fuck an otter," Machiavelli said to Stalin. "I mean, not, like my A-game fuckin', but I'd still tear her shit up."
  • Christopher Walken attempting to somberly explain why your mother is dead and why he was caught fucking her fatal stab wound #SpikeJonze
  • Rivers Cuomo cutting off a Japanese prostitute's head with a length of piano wire, looped forever #manlegs
  • paying for the Japanese prostitute that your new buddy Rivers Cuomo just beheaded in the back of the rented limo #hallmarkmoments
  • MC HAMMER BOAT REFINANCING 2009 VOL. 1: HOW TO REFINANCE YOUR BOAT (2 LEGIT 2 QUITT)
  • "I JUST WANTED TO LOVE MY SON!" Gendo sobbed into Marigold's arms. "It's not too late," she said. "Just get into this giant penguin mecha."
  • "See you...next time, cowboy..." Spike gasped. "See you tomorrow...in the ER...and you've got LUPUS," Marigold said #cowboybebopVhouse
  • Fart-chan looked Chiyo's dad right in the eye and said "there's no way I'll prolapse first." #goodnight #thankyou #tipyourwaitress #dongs
  • my wife just literally yelled at me to "stop being weird on the internet" so I guess I'm done
  • PS: imagine a cock writhing around in your mouth, just frantically straining for freedom and/or orgasm. Really think about this.
  • MarigoldxYolandi #zefside #dieantwoordcontent

    No one else Tweeted anything during this time.

    ~*::Meow::*~
  • Date: 2010-12-06 08:40 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] rensong.livejournal.com
    Um. Wow. You have some interesting characters on your Twitter.

    Date: 2010-12-06 08:41 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com
    Jeph Jacques is the man!! Have you read Questionable Content???

    ~*::Meow::*~

    Date: 2010-12-06 08:42 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] rensong.livejournal.com
    I don't believe I have. Judging from his twitters, I'm not sure I would want to risk it while I'm at work anyway. ;)

    Date: 2010-12-06 08:44 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com
    HAHA!! Actually, QC is not anything that crazy. The man is just insane. He was also very drunk (he had a sizeable amount of Bourbon last night).

    ~*::Meow::*~

    Date: 2010-12-07 02:49 am (UTC)
    ext_4772: (Cartoon Chris)
    From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
    Link here! http://www.questioanblecontent.net

    It often skirts NSFW, but not glaringly. But his dialogue goes...often intriguing places. (I've been a fan for a few years. Bonnie's been a fan since the beginning.)

    Date: 2010-12-07 03:08 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com
    Eep!! Link typo!! http://www.questionablecontent.net There, fixed it for you :)

    And it's true! I have been a fan since the beginning. I don't remember how I stumbled upon it initially...

    ~*::Meow::*~

    Date: 2010-12-07 03:14 am (UTC)
    ext_4772: (Palindromes!)
    From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
    ARGH!!! I usually can spell worth a dam!

    Date: 2010-12-07 03:16 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com
    It's ok, hun. All is forgiven :)

    ~*::Meow::*~

    Date: 2010-12-07 03:16 am (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com
    Also OMG your icon!!!

    ~*::Meow::*~

    Date: 2010-12-07 06:19 am (UTC)
    ext_4772: (I listen)
    From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
    A description I've yet to find a use for: "Folding back on itself like a 30,000-word-long palindrome."

    December 2013

    S M T W T F S
    12345 67
    89101112 1314
    15161718192021
    22232425262728
    293031    

    Most Popular Tags

    Style Credit

    Expand Cut Tags

    No cut tags
    Page generated May. 29th, 2025 05:54 pm
    Powered by Dreamwidth Studios