As I said in my previous post
, today is 9 years since Billy and Cathy were in a tragic car accident that took both of their lives.
Every year on this day, I wake up at 4:45am, not by choice, but it's like clockwork. I went to bed last night knowing that it was going to happen. Thankfully, I was able to get myself to fall back asleep for the remaining hour before my alarm went off at 6am.
I had a breakdown while getting ready this morning. This caused me to run late, so I went to Ronkonkoma instead of Patchogue and caught the 7:32, which is not unusual for me to take. A woman came on the train before we pulled out of the station and sat down a few rows ahead of me. I looked up and noticed that the woman looked exactly like Cathy. No joke. Her red hair, the makeup, facial features... everything! I've never seen this woman on this train before, and I take it quite often, sitting in the exact same spot every time.
I went to my first class and then when I left my class, something else happened. I was walking in the quad and I heard someone call my name from behind me. I turned around and saw no one there. I thought to myself, "That was weird." and then I felt someone tap my shoulder. This time I quickly turned around and caught a split-second glimpse of Billy before he disappeared.
When I got to ACSM (where I spend my breaks between classes), some of the people in the lounge started singing songs from RENT. Without them knowing it, they were honoring Cathy. A little later on, there was a conversation about Tori Amos. Thank you for also honoring Billy, without knowing it. This lifted my spirits a little bit.
On my way home, I was standing on the platform waiting for the train to come and all of a sudden, there were 2 white doves standing on the platform together, looking in my direction. Doves are never at Jamaica station. Backstory: When it was the 1st anniversary of their deaths, Billy and Cathy's mom and dad released 20 white doves. Only 18 returned. So, seeing the doves today was no fluke.
Today was a really tough day for me. It still is, but at least I'm home now, so if I'm going to cry, I can just let it all out.